Saturday, July 28, 2007

Dell Hell - By the Numbers 5

Well, you can buy the numbers too and can tell you what it will cost you! Thanks to my friends here at KiwiHost I got to hear about Tarp and the great work they do in the USA to show us the problems and solutions to customer service in a way we can understand. Good old numbers....

I have been waiting for a way to quantify what I am doing and now with the data from Tarp it has only gotten worse! Or better I suppose, from my point of view. All this adds up to....? Damned if I know, I am more confused than ever, but I am more certain than ever that my efforts are not misguided nor in vain.

5 to 6 - Number of times greater the cost to win a new customer than to keep an old one.

1 in 26 - Number of Kiwis that complain.

1 in 12 - Number of Americans who complain.

8 to 22 - Number of People an unhappy customer tells.

8 - Number of People a "happy" customer will tell about a big ticket purchase experience.

16 - Number of people an "unhappy" customer will tell about a big ticket purchase experience.

19 - Percent of customers with unresolved complaints who will no longer purchase products from that company.

9 - Percent of customers who are lost to a company, who do not even complain about the faulty product.

1 to 5 - Percent who complain to management or HQ in regards a faulty product.

8 - Percent more loyal after a customer complaint is resolved than if there had been no problem at all!

So what does this all tell me? Well, a few things stick out. According to these numbers had Dell fixed my daughters computer I would have been even more loyal to Dell than I was before (True, and I have been a customer going back to the early days!). Another thing is that Dell is only hearing 5% of the problem on the direct2dell site or on the community forums. The true numbers must be staggering!

Another thing is I am way out front on the unhappy customer tells 16 issue... I am way over 100 now, hell, two people have read this blog!

Sweet As.... as they say here in NZ... though they never do say sweet as what...

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Dellhell DownUnder

Well, in case those living at the rarified heights of Round Rock, TX are chuckling to themselves, thinking this blog was a flash in the pan, I wanted to assure them and you, dear reader, that I have not disappeared, nor have I tired of my assault on Dellhell.

In fact, I am on a working holiday in New Zealand, and while downunder, I am doing my utmost to convince my Kiwi brethern to buy anything but Dell when they consider a purchase of computers or peripherals.

Now, with a population of some 3 million people and 40 million sheep, it isn't much of a market to worry about in the grand scheme of things, but it isn't about NZ per se, just like Dell, I am focused on overall numbers.

Dell ripped me (my daughter) off for $2600 and I am out for blood, every lost customer counts, Canadian, Kiwi, Aussie, makes no difference to me! Do you hear me in Texas? I am not going away, your problem with me gets worse by the day... not better and all because you place a buck before a customer, Assholes! It is easy to see why America is going down the tubes... Ford, Chrysler, Dell, just to name a few, with Corporate leaders like you guys who needs Dick Cheney or Bill Clinton to shoot friends or screw things?

I recently spoke at a customer service course for Ski Field employees (KiwiHost) and guess who I used as the posterchild for bad customer relations? No prize for guessing it was Dell.

My audience was a bunch of Kiwi's (the people, not the bird) and a small group of international ski pro's. I spoke of the appalling track record at Dell in regards customer service and thier refusal to deal with the results. Forget the lip service of Direct2Dell or Ideastorm, these are only relevant to the geeks and bloggers, Joe Kiwi is not impressed by this stuff anymore than Joe Average in America, all they want is a product that works from a company they can trust. They may have more sheep than cows in New Zealand but they know bullshit when they see it!

So, to sum up, I have not "gone away" I have only gone "downunder". I will be back, on the attack as and when I am able. Meanwhile be assured, I am spreading the word.